Many problems in marriage are related to unfulfilled expectations and unrealistic comparisons. I shared in a previous article that unfulfilled expectations lead to frustration. Couples become disillusioned and disappointed when their expectations are not met.
Unrealistic comparisons can also sow seeds of resentment and dissatisfaction. For example, when you compare your old car with your neighbor’s new one, you may find yourself dissatisfied. You had no problems with your old car until you sat in the front seat of your neighbor’s new car. Now your car looks old as you notice the stain on the seat and the chip on the exterior paint. The new car shines while your old car looks dull.
Comparisons can poison your relationships with other people too. When you compare your new boss with your old boss you may find yourself critical and disappointed. You may have been comfortable working for your previous employer but now you don’t like the changes the new boss has introduced.
When a wife compares her husband with other men, she may become disillusioned and bitter. When she notices that other men bring flowers to their wife and her husband does not, she may begin to question her husband’s love and affection for her. Whenever you compare one person with another or one car with another, dissatisfaction and disappointment are likely.
I caution new visitors at our church that our church may look better than the one they have attended for many years. I encourage them to stay at their old church where they have friends and deep roots. Stay where you are. Don’t compare one church with another or one pastor with another. They each have their strengths and weaknesses.
There is a passage in the Bible where church people were comparing different leaders. Some liked Apollos while others preferred Paul. This resulted in division in the church at Corinth. Paul encouraged his readers to not compare one leader with another but realize that both are working together to spread the good news about Jesus (First Corinthians 3:3-9).
Let me encourage you to not make unhealthy comparisons. Your spouse, your boss and your pastor will have their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on their good qualities. Encourage them with your words and support. You will be glad you did and they will too!
You can read 365 more articles and stories (one for every day of the year) in the author’s book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The price is only $20 plus postage ($5). Order your book today at markh@efreedb.org
Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper 