So Many Choices

Did you know our local Baskin and Robbins 31 Flavors ice cream store sells a regular scoop of ice cream for half-price on the last day of the months that have thirty one days? Since our grandchildren were in town on the 31st, I asked if they would like to go get some ice cream. They live overseas and have great tasting ice cream in their country, but they had never been to a Baskin and Robbin 31 Flavors store. They said yes. Ice cream sounded good!

When we walked into the store they were amazed at all the different flavors to choose from. It was very difficult to decide which one to get. The store owner allowed them to sample several different flavors before they made their individual selection. As we sat and ate our ice cream, it was fun to hear how much they each liked their flavor. I enjoyed my usual scoop of chocolate fudge ice cream, too!

One of our jobs as parents is to help our children learn to make good choices. Children are frequently faced with situations that require them to make wise decisions. Peer pressure and popular opinion can lead a child or teen down a dangerous path. It is our job to help them learn how to decide which path to follow.

There are many important choices we make in life. We decide where we will live and who we will marry. We choose our career and what schools our children will attend. I think the most important decision we make is about our faith in God. Joshua told the Israelite people, “Choose today whom you will serve. My family and I have chosen to serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). This is one of the most important decisions anyone will make in their life. 

The next time you take your kids or grandkids out for ice cream, don’t worry about the sugar and calories. Look at it as a valuable training experience that will help equip them to make more difficult decisions in the years ahead. They will be glad you did and you will too! 

The Man in the Mirror (Part 2)

The Man In The Mirror (Part Two)

In my previous article I shared about how we need to take a look in the mirror and see what changes we need to make in our own life. The words of the song Man in the Mirror and the story of the pastor with the rebellious daughter really drive home the principle that change needs to begin with you.

Many years ago I attended a helpful seminar on leadership. I picked up some useful ideas on how to be a more effective leader of our staff and our church. One of the speakers was Ken Blanchard, He was well known for his best-selling book – The One Minute Manager.  He shared an illustration that he often used with business leaders that has been very helpful to me as a husband, pastor and leader.

He said that when things are not going well, a foolish manager will look out his office window and place the blame on his workers. Why are sales and production declining? The employees must not be doing their jobs. On the other hand, when things are going well, a foolish manager will look in a mirror and congratulate himself for the great job he is doing.

Blanchard went on to say that when things are going well and sales are up and production is growing, a wise manager will look out the window and recognize the success is due to the hard work of his employees. And, when sales are down and production is declining, a wise manager will look in the mirror and ask himself – What am I doing wrong? What steps do I need to take to help our business improve?

There is a passage in the Bible where King David ignored the warning of his own advisors and demanded that his staff count the number of troops under his command. This action resulted in the death of a number of innocent people. David realized his mistake and asked God to forgive him and stop the devastation and destruction. He accepted responsibility for his arrogant behavior (Second Samuel chapter 24).

If things aren’t going well in your life or business, let me encourage you to take a good look in the mirror. Ask yourself – what changes do you need to make in your life? Accept responsibility and change what you are doing. And if things are going well in your life or business, I hope you will give the credit to God and to the people who have made it possible. They will be glad you did and you will too.

You can read more articles by Mark Hopper by purchasing his book Let Me Encourage You by mailing a check for $25 (which includes postage) to him at: 3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd. Diamond Bar, CA 91765 or contact Mark by email at markh@efreedb.org.

The Man in the Mirror

The Man In The Mirror

Many years ago, I heard a pastor share his story about his relationship with his teenage daughter. He was discouraged and concerned that his daughter was angry and frustrated with him. One day he took his whole family to a local park. As they sat on some tree stumps, he asked his wife and each of their children this question – “What changes do I need to make in my life that can help heal our family”? He said it hurt deeply as each of them shared some of their frustrations with him. His teenage daughter was the most vocal. She told her father that he was too busy and he never listened to her.

After each of them shared, he told them he needed some time to be alone and think about what they had said. As he got up to leave, his daughter stopped him and said she needed to ask him the same question. “What changes did she need to make in her life?” This was a turning point in their strained relationship. His heart was softened and he began to make some changes in his schedule and he spent more time with his daughter. The daughter’s heart was softened and she began to make changes in her life and attitude too.

There is a passage in the Bible where Jesus said, “Before you try to remove the speck from your brother’s eye, you need to remove the log from your own eye” (Matthew 7:1-5). If there is a problem in your family, marriage or other relationship – the place to begin is in your own life. Look in a mirror and ask yourself this question – what am I doing that is causing problems in our relationship? What changes do I need to make in my life that will help heal the wounds and restore my relationship with others?

There is a song from the 1980’s written by a famous singer with the title – Man in the Mirror. Some of the words are, “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways”.

I love the phrase – Changed people change people. I believe that when you make positive changes in your life it will produce positive changes in others too.  Your words, attitudes and actions can have a positive or negative impact on others. Let me encourage you to look in the mirror and ask yourself – what changes do I need to make in my life. You can ask your spouse, children or a trusted friend too. Pray and ask God to reveal some things to you that you need to change in your life with His help. You will be glad you did and those around you will too. (see more in part two)

For more stories and articles by Mark Hopper request a copy of his book “Let me Encourage You” by Mark Hopper – 365 encouraging stories and articles – one for each day of the year. Available from the author at markh@efreedb.org for $25 which includes postage.

Reflections of a Father

Reflections of a Father

Trisha, Mark, Jeanne, Tim, Teri, Traci

Recently I was on my early morning walk. It was Father’s Day. As I walked through our neighborhood I reflected on how thankful I am that my wife and I have our four wonderful children. All of them graduated from college and all of them have their Master’s degrees. One has her Doctorate degree. They have accomplished a lot. All of them are married and have a wonderful spouse and family of their own.

As I thought about their lives, families and careers I reflected on the qualities that makes each one unique and special.

Tim is the first born and my favorite son. He is an Assistant Principal at a high school in San Diego. He has always been alert to students who may be sitting alone at lunch or need a place to connect at school. He is a natural leader and loves to encourage students and parents.

Trisha is our oldest daughter. She and her husband serve in a ministry in former communist country in central Europe. She is very clever and always has a new game to play or a new activity to bring people together. She taught school for several years before moving to Europe and has written curriculum for the classroom and various camps. She is great in front of a room full of kids.

Traci was also a school teacher before she and her husband moved to Western Europe to serve with a church planting ministry. All four of their children were born overseas. She bubbles with enthusiasm and it is fun to watch her interact with adults and kids in a foreign language. She has a tender heart and a pioneer spirit when faced with new challenges and circumstances.

Teri and her husband live here in southern California. She is a college professor. She has worked in hospitals and rehab centers helping children and adults with speech and swallowing problems. She is very thoughtful and compassionate as she works with patients and very competent as she trains students and future therapists.

One of the things that encourages me is when our children spend time together. I like knowing they enjoy each other and that they find ways to stay connected.  Our children are not perfect – neither are their parents. I am thankful for their faith in God and their love for each other. I am thankful for they found a spouse who loves and cares for them. Let me encourage you to tell your children often why you are thankful for each of them. They will be glad you did and you will too.

To read more encouraging stories by Mark Hopper contact the author at markh@efreedb.org for your own copy of my book Let Me Encourage You

Father’s Day Is Coming

Father’s Day is Coming

Father’s Day is not only a time to remember and honor our own fathers. It is also a helpful reminder of the privilege and responsibility to all of us who are fathers of our own children.

Most of us were not trained or prepared on how to be a good dad.  We just learned along the way. Many of us had good models to follow by watching our own fathers. But, I think most men feel unprepared for the role of being a dad to their own children.

There is a short passage in the Bible that points out three specific things fathers need to do for their children. In First Thessalonians 2:12, the Apostle Paul said that “he dealt with the people in this new church in northern Greece like a father deals with his own children”.

First, he encouraged them. I’m convinced one of the best things a father can do for his children is to provide lots of encouragement. Children often face discouragement and disappointment. They need a father who can reassure and encourage them on a daily basis. Your kids need a steady flow of encouraging words!

Second, Paul comforted these new believers. Fathers need to provide comfort and reassurance for their kids. Children experience fear and concerns. They get scrapes and bruises. They need a father who can pick them up and help them get back on their feet.

Third, children need to be challenged. Fathers need to help their children gain self-confidence in this competitive world. They need to believe they can succeed. One way to do this is to challenge your children to do things that they are reluctant to try. When children experience success, it strengthens their self-confidence. It helps them realize that they can do more than they thought they could.

Let me encourage you to look for ways to encourage, comfort and challenge your children. You will be glad you did and they will too!  Happy Father’s Day!

This article is part of a book written by Mark Hopper titled “Let Me Encourage You” which contains 365 inspiring stories and articles – one for every day of the year. To get a copy of his book email the author at markh@efreedb.org.