Be Patient with Your Parents

Teenagers are often surprised when I tell them to be patient with their parents. I try to explain to teens that their parents have never raised a teenager before and they probably don’t know what they are doing. Most parents are not prepared for the task of raising kids. Many hospitals provide child birth classes and some even provide help with caring for a new born child. We have a friend who works at a local hospital who is a lactation expert. She coaches new mothers with breast feeding and caring for their babies. But, I don’t know of any hospital that provided classroom training on how to be a good parent.

Most teenagers are going through the transition from dependence to independence. They are still dependent on their parents for basic needs like food, clothing, housing and money. But they want to enjoy the privileges of independence when it comes to the use of their time and their choice of friends. It is a delicate balance that parents and teens navigate together.

A number of outstanding teenagers are mentioned in the Bible. Joseph was probably a teenager when God encouraged him when he was mistreatment by his brothers who sold him into slavery (Genesis 37). David was probably a teenager when God gave him the courage to protect his father’s sheep and to defeat the giant Goliath (First Samuel 17). Daniel was probably a teenager when he was taken from his home into exile in Babylon and he refused to compromise his faith (Daniel 1). Mary was probably a teenager when she gave birth to Jesus and raised him in Nazareth (Luke 2).

Luke shares an interesting story about Jesus’ relationship with his earthly parents when he was almost a teenager. He was actually twelve years old when he went with his parents to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. But when his parents left to return to Nazareth, Jesus stayed behind in the city to listen and ask questions of the religious leaders (Luke 2:41-52). His parents were alarmed by his absence and searched for three days until they found him in the Temple courts.  Luke tells us that Jesus returned home with them and submitted to their authority. If you are a teenager, let me encourage you to be patient with your parents, listen to their wisdom and obey their rules. And, if you are parent, let me encourage you to love your teens and pray for wisdom as you guide them during their teenage years. You will be glad you did and they will too!

50th Anniversary


I’m not sure when the idea first came up. We were talking at Christmas 2020 with our adult kids about what we should do to celebrate our 50th anniversary in June. Different ideas were discussed and one of those ideas was to spend a week in Hawaii with our children and grandchildren. It seemed impossible but we agreed to look into it.

Two essential components were the cost of air travel and finding affordable housing. We also faced the uncertainty of the Covid19 epidemic and the impact it was having on travel. I contacted our Hawaii timeshare company in early February to see if we could reserve four condos for the last week of June. They told us they already had so many requests that they were not even taking any more names for a waiting list. So we started looking on VRBO for places to rent in Maui. Renting four condos was substantial. 

Another key component was air travel. We had applied for a new credit card with Southwest airlines in January and expected to earn a large number of travel points that could help buy some tickets to Maui. Our kids helped buy some tickets too but we were looking at flying nineteen people to Hawaii. However, with the bonus points from the new credit card and the points my wife still had on her SW account we were able to purchase over half of the tickets we needed. Our kids purchased the additional tickets and we were able to secure all nineteen tickets on Southwest Airlines departing non-stop from Long Beach to Maui on June 25th.

As we continued our search for rental housing I received a letter from our Hawaii Timeshare company informing us that one of the weeks we had in our account was going to expire. I decided to extend that week and to look on their website and see if any units might be available for our dates in June. To my surprise there were two units listed on their site for the exact to dates we needed! Remember they told us in February that they were not taking any more names on a waiting list. Now two months later they had two one-bedroom units available. I called immediately and reserved those two units and asked them to watch for another one on the same dates. A week later they called to confirm the third unit.  These three condos combined with the week we already owned gave us the four condos we needed for our four adult kids and their families.  Some generous friends agreed to allow my wife and me to stay in their nearby guest house for the same week. Suddenly all of our housing needs were reserved and our flights for nineteen were confirmed. Amazing! 

We sensed that something special was coming together for our 50th Anniversary. It looked so unlikely we could find or afford nineteen plane tickets and four condos but God provided in some remarkable and unexpected ways. There is a verse in the Bible that says, “My God will supply all your needs” (Philippians 4:13). Let me encourage you to ask God to do great things in your life and in your family. You may be surprised how He provides.

Read 365 more stories (one for every day of the year) by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The cost is only $20 plus $5 for postage. Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Charlie

One of the things that made our 50th anniversary in Maui possible was finding lodging for all of our kids and grandkids. We were able to reserve four condos through our timeshare trading partner so each of our adult kids and their spouse and children had their own unit. The condos were at the same location so grandchildren could easily spend time with their cousins. The green lawns and swimming pool were popular gathering places. My wife and I stayed at a guest house nearby.
 
Two of the condos were one-bedroom and two were two-bedroom. The family with the most children and the family with the youngest children got the two-bedroom units. The other two families each got a one bed-room unit with a pullout sofa bed in the living room.
 
These timeshare condos were spacious with a large living and dining area and a spacious patio. Most of the units had beautiful views of the Pacific Ocean. The patios were a popular spot for a family breakfast. Everyone seemed happy with their accommodations.
 
However, one unit had some noisy neighbors. I’m not talking about the people living upstairs or next door. I’m talking about a rooster who would wake up every morning around 4:30 AM and announce to the world that it was to time to get going. The rooster and his friends were living in some dense shrubbery just beyond their condo’s patio. He was loud and bold. Every morning he kept waking up our daughter and her husband and their two young children.
 
They called the office and asked if something could be done about this noisy neighbor. The clerk joked that there was a bounty on the rooster’s life but no one on the staff had been able to persuade the rooster to relocate. The “cock-a-doodle-do” went on morning after morning. While the families in the other condos enjoyed a good night’s sleep, the family near the rooster were not so lucky.
 
Our grandchildren decided to give the rooster a name – Charlie. He became part of their family during their week in Maui. It is not uncommon to see roosters and chickens along the side of the roads and in the landscaping all over Hawaii. Several times we saw a chicken carefully escorting her brood of tiny chicks across a parking lot or down a walking path. Chickens and roosters are a common sight in Hawaii but the most memorable on our trip was Charlie.
 
I wonder if there is a Charlie in your life. Is there someone at work or at school who is unaware that their words and actions are irritating you? Is there a Charlie in your church or service club who agitates and frustrates you? Are you married to a Charlie? Or, could it be that you are the Charlie in someone else’s life?
 
Let me encourage you to be kind and patient with the Charlies in your life. Some Charlies are not even aware they are bothering you. They may just plunge into a new day unaware that some people like to sleep-in or go at a slower pace. They may not be aware of how much or how loud they talk. There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Love is patient and love is kind” (First Corinthians 13:4). Change comes through kindness not conflict. Be patient and kind to the Charlies in your life. Be willing to change if you are the Charlie in someone else’s life. You will be glad you did and they will too!

Read more encouraging stories in the authors book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. You can order a copy at markh@efreedb.org. The cost is only $25 and includes postage. You will be glad you did!

Wash Your Car & Meet Your Neighbors



I love the long summer evenings in Southern California. I love to get more things done after dinner with the extra daylight we enjoy in June and July. I was surprised the clock read 8:30 PM when I came into the house after washing my car.
 
An added bonus to the long summer evenings has been meeting more of my neighbors. There are a lot of men, women and young adults walking past our house every evening. Many of them are doing laps around our block and come by several times. And many of them are walking with a spouse or exercise partner.
 
I like to pause what I am doing and say hello as people pass by. Some share encouraging comments on how nice my car looks. I like to return the compliment and tell them what a good job they are doing as they walk through our neighborhood.
 
Some people pause when I ask them their name and where they live. It has been challenging to learn new names and remember them the next time I see them. But I enjoy our brief conversations and I like getting to know some of my neighbors better.
 
There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). It is hard to love your neighbors if you don’t know your neighbors. One of the biggest obstacles to getting to know your neighbors is the garage door. People drive down the street, press the garage door opener, pull into their garage and close the door. It is pretty hard to get to know them when you can’t even speak to them.
 
Some other obstacles include the back yard patio and indoor air conditioning. It is interesting that older homes were built with a front porch. People would get out of their warm house and sit outside to enjoy a cool evening breeze. The front porch provided a natural setting to greet people walking by. It enabled neighbors to meet other neighbors.
 
Let me encourage you to get to know the neighbors who live around you. Why not wash your car during these long summer evenings and say hello to the people who walk by. Why not set up a lawn chair in your front yard instead of sitting in your air conditioned house or on the back yard patio. You will be glad you did and your neighbors will too!

Read 365 more stories by Mark Hopper in his book Let Me Encourage You which includes a story for every day of the year. You can purchase your copy for only $20 plus $5 postage. Order your copy today at markh@efreedb,org.

A Man Named Ron

I enjoy seeing people walking through our neighborhood. A few people walk early in the morning. More people walk later in the day and early evening. There are people of all ages enjoying the sidewalks and trails. Some are walking alone while others are walking with their children or friends. Many are walking their dog.

Many years ago one man caught my attention. His name was Ron and he faithfully walked every morning. There was one thing about him that was different. He always carried a plastic grocery bag and picked up trash as he walked through our neighborhood.

It is surprising to see how much trash accumulates in the bushes and street gutters in a residential neighborhood. Candy wrappers, cigarette butts, coffee cups, beer cans and fast-food packages collect near parked cars and on sidewalks. Sometimes you see an article of clothing like a sock or sweater too.

Ron took the time to pick up trash to help keep our neighborhood clean. He did not receive any special recognition and most people did not even notice what he did. But his faithful efforts did make our com-munity cleaner and better.

He also set an example for others to follow. I think I became more aware of the trash in my neighborhood because of Ron’s example. I must admit that I don’t carry a trash bag, but I am more inclined to stop and pick up a wrapper or empty soft drink cup on my morning walk.

What about you? What do you do when you see small items of trash in your neighborhood? Do you stop and pick them up or do you walk by and leave them for others to deal with?

What would happen if everyone picked up one piece of trash every day? It doesn’t seem all that difficult but it could make a big dent in the trash problem in your community. In addition, if everyone put their own empty coffee cup or sandwich wrapper in a trash container it could make a big difference in the beauty and cleanliness of their community.

Let me encourage you to start this week and pick up one piece of trash on a sidewalk or in a parking lot every day. Help make your community a cleaner and better place. You will be glad you did and Ron will too!  

You can read 365 more articles and stories by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You – it includes a story for every day of the year! The cost is only $20 plus $5 for postage. You can order your copy at markh@efreedb.org.

Fifty

Today is our 50th wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe my wife and I were married fifty years ago on June 4, 1971. Several thoughts run through my mind as I reflect on those numbers.

First, I am thankful we made it to our 50th anniversary. We have been on a 15 year journey with my wife’s breast cancer. There have been several times when we did not think we would make it to 50 years of marriage. But God has been gracious to restrain the progress of this disease and extend her life. New medicines have proven effective and the prayers of many people have sustained us on this journey. The cancer is not gone but recent test results have been encouraging.

Second, I am thankful for our family. A young twenty-year old couple got married 50 years ago. Fifty years later we have four adult children, three sons-in-lawn, one daughter-in-law and ten grandchildren. We have gone from a family of two to a family of twenty! Pretty amazing!

Third, I am thankful for the friends and extended family members who have touched our lives. There are too many to name but we are so grateful for older adults who mentored us and encouraged us. And we are thankful for younger couples and individuals our own age who have enriched our lives in many different ways. God has put special people in our path as we raised our families and encouraged one another.

Fourth, I am thankful for all the adventures my wife and I have shared together. We have been able to travel together and serve together in many parts of the world. When our children were young our adventures were camping in the mountains and trips to the beach. We smile as we remember trips to San Diego and Disneyland. We drove across the country and saw many memorable sites. As they grew older they found careers that they enjoyed and a spouse to start their own family with.

We don’t know what the coming months and years will hold. We have more things that we would like to do together. Every day is a gift from God. There is a verse in the Bible that we selected as a theme for our marriage. It says, “O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together” (Psalm 34:3). Let me encourage you to take time to reflect on your past and continue to make plans for your future. Give thanks to God for his blessings and ask Him to give you more adventures to enjoy. You will be glad you did and your spouse will too!   

You can read more articles and stories by the author – one for every day of the year in the author’s book – Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The cost is only $20 (plus $5 postage).Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Wildlife Rescue

Our niece lives in Arizona. She is a graduate of Northern Arizona University and has always enjoyed horses and other animals. Recently she joined an animal rescue organization as a volunteer to be on call when wild animals are in need of help.

The organization provided valuable training for the volunteers so they could respond when people called in to report a wild animal in distress. We were with her one evening when she received a call from the dispatcher reporting that a hawk was injured and in need of help. I was excited when she asked me if I wanted to go along with her.

We drove to a remote location on the outskirts of Phoenix and met some people who had been able to contain the hawk until we arrived. Apparently they had been able to lure the hawk into a large cage. When we arrived, my niece grabbed a special pair of long gloves that had been issued to her at the training. The gloves were designed to protect her from the sharp talons of the wild hawk.

She put on the protective gloves and opened the cage. I thought the hawk would fly out and escape. But it was clearly disabled and unable to fly. My niece confidently approached the hawk and gently clutched it with her gloves. The hawk did not resist. It was probably dehydrated and weak for lack of food and water. She gently placed the large hawk in a special box, closed the lid and placed it in the cab of her truck. I was impressed with her courage and confidence dealing with this large injured bird.

After she got the bird back to her house, she transferred it to a larger cardboard box and gave the bird some water and food. She stayed up most of the night monitoring the hawk’s condition. It seemed to respond well to the water and small pieces of meat that she provided. In the morning, my niece took her wounded friend to the wildlife care center on her way to work.  

The goal of the wildlife rescue organization is to provide aid for injured animals, rehabilitate them and release them back into the wild. The volunteers are essential to the success of their efforts. Let me encourage you to find a place where you can donate your time to help animals and people.  You will be glad you did and they will too!

You can read 365 more stories and articles by Mark Hopper in his book Let Me Encourage You. You can purchase your copy for only $20 plus postage ($5). Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Unhealthy Comparisons (Part 2)

white porsche 911 parked in front of building

Many problems in marriage are related to unfulfilled expectations and unrealistic comparisons. I shared in a previous article that unfulfilled expectations lead to frustration. Couples become disillusioned and disappointed when their expectations are not met.

Unrealistic comparisons can also sow seeds of resentment and dissatisfaction. For example, when you compare your old car with your neighbor’s new one, you may find yourself dissatisfied. You had no problems with your old car until you sat in the front seat of your neighbor’s new car. Now your car looks old as you notice the stain on the seat and the chip on the exterior paint. The new car shines while your old car looks dull.

Comparisons can poison your relationships with other people too. When you compare your new boss with your old boss you may find yourself critical and disappointed. You may have been comfortable working for your previous employer but now you don’t like the changes the new boss has introduced.

When a wife compares her husband with other men, she may become disillusioned and bitter. When she notices that other men bring flowers to their wife and her husband does not, she may begin to question her husband’s love and affection for her. Whenever you compare one person with another or one car with another, dissatisfaction and disappointment are likely.

I caution new visitors at our church that our church may look better than the one they have attended for many years. I encourage them to stay at their old church where they have friends and deep roots. Stay where you are. Don’t compare one church with another or one pastor with another. They each have their strengths and weaknesses.

There is a passage in the Bible where church people were comparing different leaders. Some liked Apollos while others preferred Paul. This resulted in division in the church at Corinth. Paul encouraged his readers to not compare one leader with another but realize that both are working together to spread the good news about Jesus (First Corinthians 3:3-9).

Let me encourage you to not make unhealthy comparisons. Your spouse, your boss and your pastor will have their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on their good qualities. Encourage them with your words and support. You will be glad you did and they will too!

You can read 365 more articles and stories (one for every day of the year) in the author’s book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The price is only $20 plus postage ($5). Order your book today at markh@efreedb.org

Unhealthy Comparisons (Part 1)


I shared in a previous article that unfulfilled expectations and unhealthy comparisons can result in resentment and bitterness in many areas of life. I encourage people to change their expectations and focus on the positive qualities in other people. The same is true when it comes to unhealthy comparisons.

For example it is easy to make comparisons when you play golf. Typically four players are grouped together at the pro shop or on the first tee. Your golf partners may be friends and people you know or you may be paired up with total strangers.
Some of your fellow players may be better golfers than you are and some will probably not be as good as you are. As your group hits their shots off the first tee box it is easy to compare their skill level. Some may look like experienced golfers while others may look like they are new to the game.

It is easy to become frustrated and intimidated when you play with golfers who are better than you. When you compare your score with the other players it can reduce your confidence and result in a frustrating day on the golf course. It can also be frustrating to golf with players that are not as good as you. You may grow impatient when they lose a ball in the bushes and slow the pace of the game.

The same can be true with fishing. If you expect to catch a lot of fish you may be disappointed and frustrated when you don’t. In addition, if you compare the size and number of fish that you catch with those caught by your fellow fishermen, you may be very disappointed. It is likely that someone else will catch more fish and bigger fish than you do. If you get caught up in comparing your fish with theirs you will likely be disappointed.

Unhealthy comparisons can sow seeds of frustration and bitterness in many areas like marriage, work and recreation. Husbands should not compare their wife with other women. Wives should not compare their husband with other men. Inevitably it will sow seeds of disillusionment and bitterness.

There is a story in the Bible about a father named Jacob who compared his children with each other. Division and resentment developed among his twelve sons because Jacob showed favoritism to his son Joseph over the other eleven sons. This resulted in deep resentment and bitterness among the brothers toward Joseph. You can read the details in Genesis chapters 39-50.

Let me encourage you to not get caught up comparing yourself or your spouse with other people. Don’t compare your children with the other kids in your family. And, don’t compare your children with other kids in their classroom or soccer team. Focus on their positive qualities not on their imperfections. Look for ways to encourage them and express your love and appreciation for them often. You will be glad you did and they will too.

For more stories and articles (one for every day of the year) by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You you can order a copy at markh@efreedb.org. The price is only $20 per copy plus postage ($5).

Unfulfilled Expectations (Part 2)


In my previous article I shared how unfulfilled expectations can result in frustration. That is true when you are playing a round of golf. If you expect to play well and get a good score, you may find yourself discouraged and disappointed by the end of the day. Your score may be a lot worse than you expected!
 
I believe there are many married couples who are disillusioned after years of marriage. They started married life filled with hopes and dreams. But as the years passed they found themselves frustrated and disappointed. Their married life has not turned out the way they expected it would.
 
There is a powerful song in the musical Les Miserables where a woman expressed her heartache about the way her life has turned out.
It is titled – “I Dreamed a Dream”. Some of the lyrics are:
 
“I dreamed a dream in days gone by, when hope was high and life worth living – I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then it all went wrong”
 
Those words may express how you feel about your marriage. But I want to urge you to not give up hope and don’t give up trying. God loves to repair relationships and restore marriages.
 
One of the things that can undermine a marriage is unfulfilled expectations. Spouses can become bitter and resentful when their hopes and dreams are not met. One of the best things you can do is change your expectations. Don’t wait for the other person to change – look for ways you can change your expectations with God’s help.
 
Years ago we met a wonderful couple during my summer internship in El Centro, California. The husband was a cattle rancher. He rarely got home on time for dinner. His wife was frustrated. Dinner was ready and the kids were hungry. But she decided to change her attitude and not expect him to be home for dinner. She realized that cattle, fences and water pumps may need immediate attention. She decided to just feed the kids when dinner was ready and warm up dinner for her husband later when he got home. She changed her expectations and it reduced the level of stress on their relationship. Let me encourage you to change your attitude and your actions. Change your expectations. Ask God to change your heart. Be willing to forgive others that you feel have hurt you (Ephesians 4:31-32). You will be glad you did and they will too.  

Read 365 more articles and stories (one for every day of the year) by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org. The price is only $25 per copy plus postage ($5).