Unfulfilled Expectations (Part 1)

 
Golf can be very enjoyable or very frustrating. Two things that take the joy out of a round of golf are expectations and comparisons. If a golfer expects to have a good score at the end of the day he may be very disappointed. After four or five hours on the golf course, the score may be far different than what the golfer expected or hoped for.
 
Expectations often result in frustration. This is not only true of a round of golf but in other areas of life too. Unrealistic expectations can cause a wife to become disillusioned. If she expects her husband to bring her flowers and buy her expensive gifts, she may become dissatisfied and disenchanted with her prince charming when he fails to fulfill her expectations.
 
The same can be true for a husband. If he expects a special dinner or an evening filled with romance, he may become bitter and frustrated when those don’t happen.  
 
The same can be true in the workplace. If you are expecting a raise or a promotion, you may be disappointed when you learn those aren’t the plans your boss has for you this year. If you expect a coworker to help you with a project or presentation, you may be frustrated when you discover that they didn’t get their part of the project done on time.
 
I am convinced that bitterness and resentment are rooted in unfulfilled expectations. Bitterness is like an acid that slowly erodes a relationship. The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers to put aside bitterness and extend forgiveness to those that have offended us (Ephesians 4:31-32).
 
If you want to enjoy a round of golf, I recommend you change your expectations. And, if you want to enjoy your marriage or your job, let me encourage you to change your expectations. Be thankful you have a job and not resentful you didn’t get the promotion. Focus on the good qualities in your spouse rather than their faults. You will be glad you did and they will too!  

Read 365 more articles and stories by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You. Order you copy at markh@efreedb.org. The price is $20 plus postage ($5).

The Man with the Yellow Jacket

One of our grandchildren’s favorite cartoon characters is Curious George. If you are not familiar with the Curious George series let me explain. Curious George is a monkey. He doesn’t actually talk but he does communicate with people using squeaky sounds and physical gestures. His owner does talk and they communicate pretty well. The owner doesn’t have a name but he is known as the man with the bright yellow hat. George gets into mischief and the man with the Yellow Hat helps Curious George get out of trouble.

When I go out for my morning walk I wear a bright yellow jacket. It belonged to my father and was handed down to me when he died. It is light weight and has large side pockets. It keeps me warm on those cool overcast mornings.

I think my bright yellow jacket has made me easily recognizable by people and pets. My neighbor usually walks his friendly dog in the morning. The dog’s name is Susie. She is excited to greet people and other pets in the neighborhood. And when she sees me she goes crazy. She pulls and tugs on her owner almost dragging him down the sidewalk to greet me. I think she recognizes my bright yellow jacket. She gets excited half a block away when I come into view. She can’t wait to say hello.

Several other neighbors say hello as we walk past each other. I don’t know all of them by name but I think they remember me because of my yellow jacket. I guess it has become my trademark. They recognize the good looking guy with the bright Yellow Jacket.

I wonder what characteristics people recognize in your life. Certainly our outward appearance does make an impression on other people. But more importantly – what do people see on the inside of your heart? Do they see you being kind to others and hear you sharing words of encouragement? Or do they see you being selfish and hear you complaining and speaking words of criticism?

The Bible says we look at people’s outward appearance but God looks at the heart (First Samuel 16:7). Let me encourage you to not be attracted to people just because of the clothes they wear or the style of their hair but by what you see and hear from the inside of their heart. And, keep an eye out for a good looking guy with a bright yellow jacket. You will be glad you did and he will too!

Read 365 more stories and articles by the author in his book Let Me Encourage You. You can order a copy at markh@efreedb.org. The price is only $20 (plus $5 for postage). Order your copy today.

Habits


Do you ever wonder why you do certain things? There are a lot of things that we do every day almost without thinking. For example – we may put our shoes on the same way every day. We may cook certain foods the same way every time we prepare them.  We have certain routines that we repeat like checking our email or starting a pot of coffee first thing in the morning.
 
We call these habits. Things we do regularly. They have become part of our lives. The dictionary defines a Habit as “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up”. We all have some good habits like brushing our teeth or washing our hair. But we also have bad habits like eating too many sweets or leaving our dirty laundry on the floor.
 
One habit I had for many years was putting my baseball cap and my headphones on top of a shelf in our family room. It was easy to find them there when I went out for my morning walk and easy to leave them there when I returned from my walk. But, I didn’t realize how much this irritated my wife. She preferred to see the top of the shelf clean and clear when guests and friends visited our home.
 
It finally dawned on me that I should find a different place to store my hat and headphones. I discovered a shelf inside the coat closet in the hallway. I regularly used this closet in the winter to get a warm coat for my walk. So I decided to put my baseball cap, headphones, scarf and gloves on the shelf above the coats. This has developed into a new habit with all of my walking gear in the same place. It helps me get out the door more quickly and it has made my wife happier too!
 
There are several passages in the Bible that address the subject of habits. The Apostle Paul wrote that he had developed the practice or habit of being content in every situation (Philippians 4:1-13). He also warned people about the danger of bad habits (I Timothy 5:13 NIV). 
 
Let me encourage you to reflect on habits and routines that are part of your life. I hope there are some good habits like reading the Bible every day and going to church on Sunday (Hebrews 10:25). But I suspect there may be some bad habits that have crept into your life too. Ask God to help you identify some habits in your life that may be having a negative impact on you or your loved ones. Ask God to give you the desire and strength to change a habit in your life. You will be glad you did and your loved ones will too!

You can read 365 more stories and articles by Mark Hopper in his book “Let Me Encourage You“. The price of a book is only $20 (plus $5 postage). Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Mt. Rushmore

 
We took a number of road trips across the country when our children were young. We drove from Arizona to the east coast in 1982 and from California to the east coast in 1990. We stopped at many historic sites like Washington, DC, the Alamo and Gettysburg. We have seen the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and followed the Freedom Walk in Boston.
 
Another memorable place we visited was Mt. Rushmore. Images of four presidents are carved into the side of the mountain. We pitched our tent in a local campground and enjoyed breakfast with four presidents in the National Park cafeteria overlooking the massive site. We went to the gift shops at most of these historic sites so our children could purchase something that would remind them of our visit. Our children usually wanted some trinkets that wouldn’t last very long while I wanted them to find something that would be more practical.  
 
Our time in the gift shop at Mt. Rushmore followed a typical pattern. The kids wanted some small toys and trinkets but I wanted something more practical. I found four plastic drinking cups with the image of Mt. Rushmore on them. They were both affordable and practical. The kids were not happy but I was determined. They did get to decide what color they wanted and we left the gift shop with four memorable and practical drinking cups. Those cups were purchased in 1985. Over the years the painted image of Mt Rushmore has faded and the lettering is completely gone. But we actually still have one of those four cups in our kitchen cupboard today. The trinkets would have been lost or tossed years ago, but one yellow cup remains.
 
I have tried to explain the story of the yellow Mt Rushmore cup to our grandchildren but they aren’t very impressed. I think it is pretty remarkable that this practical purchase continues to be used at our house. I think it proves I was right. My grandkids think I was very unreasonable to not allow my children to buy what they wanted. Their parents feel the same way. But the plastic drinking cup has become part of our family’s history. Now that I am a grandfather I may be willing to let my grandchildren buy trinkets or toys instead of more practical souvenirs. Practical doesn’t seem as important anymore. It is pretty hard for a grandparent to say no to their grandchildren!

You can read 365 more stories and articles by Mark Hopper in his book Let Mark Encourage You. Purchase your copy for only $20 plus postage. Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Building with Your Own Hands

I always dreamed of building my own home or a cabin in the woods. I didn’t know much about building and construction when I grew up. I did take woodshop in Jr High and learned about various tools used with woodworking. I made a small jewelry box and of few other items.

When I became the pastor at Chapel in the Hills Church in Tucson, Arizona, I learned a lot about construction when we built two new buildings and remodeled a third during the years I served there. We did a lot of the construction ourselves and I learned a lot about framing walls, plumbing, concrete work and a lot more from skilled craftsmen.

As our family grew in numbers, I was able to add a family room on the back of our house and later a fourth bedroom and third bathroom on the side of our house. When we moved to California I was able to build a fourth bedroom and third bathroom on to that house too. I built the room additions to conform to the building codes in each state. I went to the county building offices and they gave me a packet of information and requirements. I drew the plans myself on graph paper. I submitted my drawing of the foundation, floor plan, site plan, elevation plan and electrical, mechanical, and plumbing details. My plans were reviewed and approved by the Building Department and were subject to onsite inspections.  

I dug the trenches for the concrete foundations. I learned how to pour and finish concrete floors. I built block walls and framed interior walls. I was able to install gas pipe, copper water pipes and glue together sewer pipes. I framed roofs and put on wood shingles, asphalt shingles and rolled roofing. I installed sinks, showers and toilets. I hung doors and built closet shelves. I hung and tapped and finished the drywall. I let others do the stucco and electrical work.  I did the painting too. I am very thankful for the people who taught me and helped me along the way.

Although I have never built my own house, I am thankful that I was able to build additions on to both of our homes. It was rewarding to pass all of the inspections and enjoy the results of many months of hard work. I have a greater appreciation and admiration for those who are in the building trades.

Nehemiah is one of my favorite people in the Bible. He led the effort to rebuild the walls around the city of Jerusalem around 450 BC. He led by example. And, he saw how God helped him overcome many challenges and obstacles. You can read the details in the book of the Bible with his name. Let me encourage you to be willing to work with your own hands to build and repair things around your house. And be willing to help a friend or neighbor too. You will be glad you did and they will too!

Read 365 more articles (one for every day of the year) by Mark Hopper in his book Let Me Encourage You. Order your copy at Markh@efreedb.org. The price is $20 plus postage ($5).

Out of Town Guests


One of the ways I know the seasons are changing is the arrival of the Canadian Geese. Recently a V-shaped formation of geese flew over our house. I heard them before I saw them. They have a distinctive “honk” that alerts you to their presence. They look majestic as they fly overhead.
 
Apparently they fly in a V-formation to improve their speed and distance. The lead bird sets the pace and the others benefit by following the V-shaped pattern. Different geese take turns leading the flock to enable others to reduce their exertion. They can fly up to forty miles per hour and up to 1500 miles in a day with a tail wind. They “honk” as they fly to encourage each other on their long flight.
 
I have heard that Canadian Geese return to the same location every year. They fly several thousand miles from Canada to their winter home in Arizona, California and other southern states and Mexico.
 
One of their favorite winter homes are golf courses. They are one of a few bird species that can digest grass. My in-laws lived near a golf course in Arizona.  They saw geese every winter. I see them on the golf course where I play golf here in southern California. However geese are very large birds and they leave a big mess on fairways, putting greens, parks and lawns.
 
I have also heard that Canadian geese are very loyal to one another. If one is injured or unable to fly others will stay behind with him. That may explain why I see many geese at our local golf course in the middle of summer. They are either injured or maybe they just prefer to stay in sunny California instead of a long flight back to Canada.
 
The Bible says that God created all of the animals on the earth, the fish in the sea and the birds in the air (Genesis 1:20-22}. The remarkable strength of the Canadian Geese and their sophisticated navigation system is evidence of God’s creative design.
 
Let me encourage you to watch for these amazing out-of-town guests this year. Take time to reflect on their beauty and strength. Give thanks to God for the majesty of His creation.

You can read 365 more articles and stories (one for every day of the year) in the book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The price is only $20 per book plus postage. Order you copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

A Drive Back in Time

My wife and I have lived in Diamond Bar for over 30 years. Diamond Bar is located 30 miles east of downtown Los Angeles. It is on the southern edge of LA County just north of Orange County. It was a cattle ranch for many decades. In the 1960’s Diamond Bar began to emerge as a beautiful suburb of Los Angeles.

There are two ways to get from Diamond Bar to Orange County. The eight-lane 57 Freeway or the two-lane Brea Canyon Road. We prefer the two-lane road that winds through Brea Canyon.  It feels like you go back in time as you drive down this shade covered road.

There is a small marker on the side of the road which records that the Spanish explorer Gaspar de Portola camped in Brea Canyon on July 31, 1769. That was before the American Revolution began. There are also majestic oil derricks lining the slopes of the canyon. These are remnants of one of the earliest oil fields in California. Oil was discovered in the 1880’s and some wells are still in production today.

I love to imagine what life might have been like when the Spanish explorers came through in the 1760’s. I suspect they interacted with Native Americans living in the area. There are many springs and creeks that would have been attractive to indigenous groups and explorers too.

Life was probably very different a century later when oil was found in Brea Canyon. The town of Brea grew quickly as workers and families flooded into the oil boomtown in the 1880’s. Brea Canyon Road was part of that expansion.

Another century later, in the early 1970’s, the 57 Freeway was extended north from Orange County through the hills of Brea Canyon and Tonner Canyon to the 60 Freeway. The volume of traffic was a stark contrast to the limited number of cars and trucks that still use Brea Canyon Road.   

Today we still prefer the small country road to the major freeway. Let me encourage you to find a quiet alternative to the fast-paced freeway. Take a moment to imagine what life might have been like years ago on that smaller two-lane road. You will be glad you did and I will too!

You can read 365 more stories and articles (one for every day of the year) in the author’s book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. You can purchase a book for only $20 plus postage ($5). Order your books at markh@efreedb.org.

Cancer (part 2)

I mentioned in my previous article that I was given a book which was very helpful to me when my wife began her journey with breast cancer. Breast Cancer Husband, by Marc Silver, addressed many subjects that most men and women know very little about. There are many medical terms and treatments that are unfamiliar to most people. This book really helped equip me and my wife to better understand some of the challenges that were ahead.
 
Marc Silver not only addressed the medical side of breast cancer but he also provided helpful information about the emotional and physical side too. He shared lessons and insights that he and his wife learned along the way. For example, he shared about the fatigue and other side-effects that come with cancer treatments. Chemotherapy and radiation can take a toll on your wife and reduce the amount of energy she used to have. He learned that he needed to be more helpful around the house and help more with cooking and cleaning. He realized he needed to go to doctor appointments and help his wife get to treatments sessions. He needed to be involved and informed not just a spectator on the sideline.
 
He also addressed how your life will change because of cancer. Things that used to seem so important in the past didn’t seem so urgent now. He shared that you will spend your time and money differently. I have always been known as pretty conservative when it came to spending money. But cancer changed my perspective. I think I am more willing to spend money and enjoy things now than I did before cancer.  Every day is a gift and we plan and spend differently that we did before.
 
Another thing you learn about cancer is that you are not alone. There are thousands of families and individuals that have cancer in their homes. The waiting room at the doctor’s office is filled with patients. You will see adults of all ages in the hallways of the medical center. It is a quiet, resilient company of people who have a life-threatening disease in common.
 
There is a verse in the Bible that says, “ God comforts us in our distress so that we may comfort others” (Second Corinthians 1:4). Pastor Rick Warren says – “God never wastes a hurt. Your greatest area of ministry will probably be in the area of your greatest hurt.” Let me encourage you to look for ways to comfort others who are on a cancer journey. Don’t go through cancer alone. Find a church and support group near you. Read a book like the Breast Cancer Husband. Open your Bible and read Psalms 18, 31, 59, 71 and others.  You will be glad you did and I will too!

Cancer

I am confident that everyone who reads this article knows someone who has had cancer in the past or has cancer now. There is an endless list of cancers that are being treated today. Lung cancer, breast cancer, liver cancer, pancreatic cancer and many more.
 
When you get off the elevator on the second floor of the St. Jude Cancer Center in Fullerton, California you can only go in two directions. If you turn to the right you will enter the doors of the Women’s Center where women go for annual checkups, mammograms and other procedures. However, if you turn left, the hallway leads to the Infusion Center where patients receive chemotherapy to treat their cancer.
 
Cancer became part of our family in 2006 when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We knew other people who had cancer but now it had entered our lives. We entered a new world with a new vocabulary of words and terms unfamiliar to us. We met doctors, nurses and staff who assured us that we were not alone. Many other patients had successfully gone through cancer treatment and survived.
 
The months following her diagnosis included surgery, reconstruction, and chemotherapy. She took a leave of absence from her teaching job. She lost her hair and experienced side effects from the chemotherapy.
 
Shortly after my wife’s diagnosis a friend gave me a book that helped me better understand this journey. Breast Cancer Husband by Marc Silver is about his wife’s journey. He included interviews with doctors, patients and spouses. It was extremely helpful starting with the size and stage of the cancer to treatment options and much more. I encourage every couple dealing with Breast Cancer to buy this book.
 
In the following years there have been many ups and downs. The cancer returned in 2011 requiring more surgery and chemotherapy plus radiation. In 2016 the breast cancer metastasized to other organs including her bones and adrenal gland. Cancer activity increased again in 2020. Her doctor used newly developed medicines and treatments that did not exist when her journey began fifteen years ago. Jeanne has led a support group in our home for many years to encourage men and women dealing with various types of cancer.  Let me encourage you to get help if cancer enters your home. Find a good church. Join a support group. Be willing to share your story with others. Pray for those who are hurting and look for ways to help them. You will be glad you did and they will too. (continued)

You can read more about our cancer journey in the next post. And you can read more stories and articles in the author’s book Let Me Encourage You which contains 365 stories and articles – one for every day of the year. You can order a copy at markh@efreedb.org. The price is only $20 plus postage.

A Virtual 5K

Walnut Valley Rotary & Young Life Virtual 5K Run image
The Covid19 virus has changed many things in our community and culture. Schools have been closed and students are being taught at home. Businesses have been closed or greatly restricted by state and local government decrees. Public gatherings have been limited. Restaurants have resorted to outdoor dining. The list goes on.
 
Zoom has become the new four-letter word. People are working from home and meeting online. Teachers are using zoom to teach their students. Classrooms are closed. Everyone is looking forward to the day when we get back to normal.
 
However people have found ways to improvise in this unusual time. For example, our Rotary Club is doing a Virtual 5K event this month. Many groups have used this format to hold various activities and sporting events. A local Junior College hosted a virtual track meet where athletes competed against other runners at various locations around the world. Their individual races were recorded at different athletic facilities and then matched against one another online. It was a virtual track meet.
 
The Walnut Valley Rotary Club is partnering with the new Young Life Club of Walnut Valley to hold a virtual 5K event. Participants can run, walk, bike, skate or many other ways to complete the 5K event. They can do their 5K at a location and at a time that is convenient for them.
The event is Covid19 friendly and without crowds that would be present at a normal 5K event.  Participants can register for the event online. The 5K Run will be held March 20-27th. The entry fee is only $25 for adults and $15 for children and students under 18 years old. Participants will receive an event T-shirt and goodie bag. This event is based on the honor system and participants can submit a selfie and report their results online. Use this link to register / buy a ticket – http://bit.ly/3oGpWAb 
 
Funds raised will be used by the Walnut Rotary Foundation and the Walnut Valley Young Life Club to benefit children, students and families in our area. For more information please go to the Eventbrite website and find the Rotary / Young Life page. You will be glad you did and I will too!