Tag: marriage

Fifty

Today is our 50th wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe my wife and I were married fifty years ago on June 4, 1971. Several thoughts run through my mind as I reflect on those numbers.

First, I am thankful we made it to our 50th anniversary. We have been on a 15 year journey with my wife’s breast cancer. There have been several times when we did not think we would make it to 50 years of marriage. But God has been gracious to restrain the progress of this disease and extend her life. New medicines have proven effective and the prayers of many people have sustained us on this journey. The cancer is not gone but recent test results have been encouraging.

Second, I am thankful for our family. A young twenty-year old couple got married 50 years ago. Fifty years later we have four adult children, three sons-in-lawn, one daughter-in-law and ten grandchildren. We have gone from a family of two to a family of twenty! Pretty amazing!

Third, I am thankful for the friends and extended family members who have touched our lives. There are too many to name but we are so grateful for older adults who mentored us and encouraged us. And we are thankful for younger couples and individuals our own age who have enriched our lives in many different ways. God has put special people in our path as we raised our families and encouraged one another.

Fourth, I am thankful for all the adventures my wife and I have shared together. We have been able to travel together and serve together in many parts of the world. When our children were young our adventures were camping in the mountains and trips to the beach. We smile as we remember trips to San Diego and Disneyland. We drove across the country and saw many memorable sites. As they grew older they found careers that they enjoyed and a spouse to start their own family with.

We don’t know what the coming months and years will hold. We have more things that we would like to do together. Every day is a gift from God. There is a verse in the Bible that we selected as a theme for our marriage. It says, “O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together” (Psalm 34:3). Let me encourage you to take time to reflect on your past and continue to make plans for your future. Give thanks to God for his blessings and ask Him to give you more adventures to enjoy. You will be glad you did and your spouse will too!   

You can read more articles and stories by the author – one for every day of the year in the author’s book – Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The cost is only $20 (plus $5 postage).Order your copy today at markh@efreedb.org.

Unhealthy Comparisons (Part 2)

white porsche 911 parked in front of building

Many problems in marriage are related to unfulfilled expectations and unrealistic comparisons. I shared in a previous article that unfulfilled expectations lead to frustration. Couples become disillusioned and disappointed when their expectations are not met.

Unrealistic comparisons can also sow seeds of resentment and dissatisfaction. For example, when you compare your old car with your neighbor’s new one, you may find yourself dissatisfied. You had no problems with your old car until you sat in the front seat of your neighbor’s new car. Now your car looks old as you notice the stain on the seat and the chip on the exterior paint. The new car shines while your old car looks dull.

Comparisons can poison your relationships with other people too. When you compare your new boss with your old boss you may find yourself critical and disappointed. You may have been comfortable working for your previous employer but now you don’t like the changes the new boss has introduced.

When a wife compares her husband with other men, she may become disillusioned and bitter. When she notices that other men bring flowers to their wife and her husband does not, she may begin to question her husband’s love and affection for her. Whenever you compare one person with another or one car with another, dissatisfaction and disappointment are likely.

I caution new visitors at our church that our church may look better than the one they have attended for many years. I encourage them to stay at their old church where they have friends and deep roots. Stay where you are. Don’t compare one church with another or one pastor with another. They each have their strengths and weaknesses.

There is a passage in the Bible where church people were comparing different leaders. Some liked Apollos while others preferred Paul. This resulted in division in the church at Corinth. Paul encouraged his readers to not compare one leader with another but realize that both are working together to spread the good news about Jesus (First Corinthians 3:3-9).

Let me encourage you to not make unhealthy comparisons. Your spouse, your boss and your pastor will have their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on their good qualities. Encourage them with your words and support. You will be glad you did and they will too!

You can read 365 more articles and stories (one for every day of the year) in the author’s book Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The price is only $20 plus postage ($5). Order your book today at markh@efreedb.org