The Loss of a Loved One

Some of the happiest things about being a pastor were weddings and babies. I enjoyed spending time in premarital counseling with the young couple. And I enjoyed leading the ceremony too. Another happy part of being a pastor were the new babies. I always went to the hospital to celebrate with the parents and meet the new family member.

Some of the harder parts of being a pastor were death and divorce. I was sad to learn when a married couple told me they had decided to end their marriage. I spent many hours in counseling trying to help them. And, it was also sad when someone died in our church family. I was honored to lead a memorial service but it was sad to see the heartache people experienced losing their loved one.

Recently my wife Jeanne died. She was only 71 years old. We had celebrated our 50^th anniversary less than a year ago with our family in Maui.  That was our final wedding anniversary together.

I am thankful for all of the support I have experienced from friends and family members. I am thankful for our faith in Jesus that sustained us through the sixteen years she battled breast cancer. I believe we will see each other again one day in heaven. But there are some things that are frustrating about the death of a loved one right now.

I miss the discussions and conversations we shared together. The house is quiet now and I don’t have anyone to talk to. Sometimes we talked about everyday things and sometimes they were much deeper. She always asked about my day and she loved to tell me about her day too.

I miss her help making decisions. Typically we would talk together and come to an agreement about something we might want to do. Should we drive or fly to Arizona? When should we go? How long should we stay?  I miss her thoughts, opinions and perspective.

I also miss sharing dreams and making plans together. We usually had something on the horizon that we would like to do. She dreamed about some new home improvement projects. I dreamed about traveling to some new destination together. Now those dreams are gone.

Let me encourage you to value every day you have with your spouse and loved ones. Share what is on your heart and listen to their dreams and thoughts. You will be glad you did and they will too.

You can read more stories about Jeanne’s life and our family and our adventures in my book – Let Me Encourage You by Mark Hopper. The price is only $20 plus $5 postage. Order you copy at markh@efreedb.org.